Painting the Walls

Believe it or not, this part is trickier than it seems. It's just paint, right? Do I really need to go there? When it comes to paint, the possibilities for disaster are pretty much endless. My personal favorites include obvious brush strokes, ridge marks and, my personal favorite, gloppy puddles that appear for no reason. Here are some thoughts on how to avoid these common pitfalls and make the most of your painting experience:

1. Start with good quality paint. Yeah, I know. But seriously, it does make a difference. A lot of people will tell you to start with a super expensive brush and, yeah, maybe that makes a difference. Considering as how I live on planet Earth, where I need to use my hard-earned money to buy things like groceries, I wouldn't know. I've found that the cheapo packs of craft brushes work just as well. Now, I don't get the ultra cheapo (like, 20 cents a brush) brushes, I get the slightly more expensive (8 bucks for 5) brushes. You can find packages of them at Michael's, emblazoned with inspiring names like "craft brush value pack." Basically, the difference is that these brushes are fake and the nice brushes aren't. The brushes with the white bristles (my personal favorite) are fake (faux, for you fancy people) white sable, just as the brushes with the reddish brown bristles are fake red sable. The bristles came off an assembly line, instead of from an animal. Apart from all other considerations, I can totally get behind not ripping the hair out of some hapless ferret by the roots. I don't dig hurting animals. Likewise, the bristles make it into the brush in basically the same way, too--they're gathered together in a big ponytail by a machine, glue is dabbed on the end of the ponytail by another machine, and they're inserted into a little metal cup. This little metal cup, called a ferroule, is then crimped shut by yet another machine. Finally, the ends are trimmed into a uniform shape. Voila, you've just achieved brush. Again, the difference is in the materials used--artificial glue instead of horse hoof glue (yes, "real" glue comes from horse hooves). One really good reason for studying art is that people can't BS you about materials quite as easily--a lot of "fine art" supplies exist to lure in suckers. Don't be one! Anyway, you can check out my work and decide for yourself if it sucks.

2. Decide, well in advance, what room is going to feature which colors. Nothing ruins even a really great paint job like poor planning. A neighbor of mine recently invited me over to admire her newly renovated kitchen. She'd spent a lot of money on it, and she'd gotten a great deal, at least when it came to workmanship: nicely crafted woodwork, expensive fixtures, professional paint job. The only problem was, everything in the kitchen was school bus yellow and candy apple red. I felt like I'd walked into a McDonald's. The moral of the story: coordinate! Remember, in a dollhouse, you can see all the rooms at once. For the Hampton, I chose a color I really liked, moss green, and worked around it. The master bedroom is blue, the library is yellow, and everything else falls somewhere in between on the color spectrum. Green (a mixture of blue and yellow) is the unifying theme.

Also, keep track of what other finishing materials you plan to use, when you select colors--what do you have in mind for the floors? The trim? I'm planning to use some stained woodwork, some painted woodwork, some carpet and some linoleum. I need to make sure that these choices are all going to blend in. For example, the stained woodwork is going to be mahogany, because mahogany--in addition to looking expensive--has a lot of yellow tones in it. It's going to go really well with my overall color theme. I tend to take materials on test-runs--as you can see, the carpet is just sort of hanging out in the master bedroom, while I get a feel for whether I like it there or not.

Also, note that I left a couple of the walls blank--I'm going to be installing floor to ceiling paneling. I know I've said this before, but it bears repeating--the more planning you do beforehand, the better off you're going to be later on. It's a pretty sick feeling when you realize, halfway through working on a room, that you have absolutely no idea how you're going to make it work with the rest of the house.

3. Mark off the ceilings (if you finished them in the last step) with masking tape. Duh.

4. Get some (clean!) water. Do not use brush water, people. Pour a little paint into a Dixie cup and add water until the paint is the consistency of heavy cream. Yes, you want it a little too watery for this step. The point is not to cover well, but to lay a solid base coat. Plaster (and all forms of gessoes are just reconstituted plaster dust) is extremely porous. If you use thick paint, then you're going to end up with blotchy, ridgy walls. Lay on your first coat of paint. It's not going to look great. Wait for it to dry, and lay on another coat. Wait for it to dry. Lightly--and I mean lightly--sand. I really like extra fine sanding sponges for this. Now, you can start using a little more paint and a little less water. The learning curve here is really steep--you're going to find that you get a feel for what you're doing really quickly. Build up coats until you achieve opaque coverage.

Some troubleshooting techniques:

Don't give into the temptation to rush. These first steps are the slowest, but they yield the best results.

If you see little "holidays" (white spots, blotchy spots, strange areas) appear after you've just laid on a nice coat of paint, don't try to touch them up. If you do, then you're going to end up with a royally painty mess on your hands. Sit on your hands if you have to, but wait until the walls are fully dry before you play touch-up.

OK, so you have blotches and ridges--now what? First, wait for the wall to dry. Grab some sand paper (For this, I tear off part of a fine sanding sponge), dip it in some clean water and gently sand over the area. Rub in a circular, not a back and forth, motion. Wipe off any stray grains from the sandpaper with a damp cloth. Once the area dries, lay on one or two light coats of gesso. After the gesso dries, you can lightly sand it with an ultra fine sanding sponge.

OK, so you have visible brush strokes--now what? Depends on how bad they are. If they're bad, see above. If they're visible to the eye, but not too bad to the touch, then lightly sand the wall with dry sandpaper. Again, rub in a circular motion. Remember, it's better to spend too much time on this step than too little!